I was in the office the other day and my work colleague, let’s call her Justine, asked if I was “with anyone?” I usually don’t tend to answer this question because I like to keep my private life private. However my silent answer always ends up with further interrogation crossing my boundaries and an attempt at a blind date with someone “they know” even though I have not suggested I want one.
Just for the sake of this article, yes I am single and have been for many years. After leaving an abusive relationship that broke me emotionally, spiritually and financially, I became so independent and highly aware of what I want and what I’ll tolerate that I have not found someone that meets me on my level.
I consider myself ambitious, disciplined, determined and creative. These are the words I associate and bound myself to…and of course a little bit of a diva, if you haven’t seen from my blog name. But Justine called me something else. She called me the “good girl”. She said every man wants to settle with a good girl just like me and has a man that is wanting just that if I was willing to be introduced to him.
Hang on. Back it up. What? What the hell is a “good girl”? Who put me in this box? Is that what men want? Who considers who is a good girl and who is not? And is this guy a “good boy”? What does that even mean?
Well did I accept Justine’s offer? No! Let me tell you why from a woman’s perspective;
- No woman should fit into a box or be labelled anything unless she wants to label herself.
- Why do we use the word “girl” for women? It’s appalling that we still use such connotations instead of using the proper word for women.
- When a man wants a “good girl” after he has been a “fuck boy” for so long, he doesn’t deserve her. Besides, how many guys hate being stereotyped this way?
- Because I have morals, standards and boundaries does not mean I’m more of a “good girl” than other females out there.
- Calling a woman a “good girl” is not a compliment. It is insulting. There are many things to compliment a woman on respectfully.
- “Good girl” sounds very childish, almost like a disciplinary conformity. It is the equivalent to “I’ll feed you shit and I know you’ll just eat it”. No…just fuck off.
So the point of my post is really to say, don’t call women a “good girl”. We are whatever we want to call ourselves. Also, every woman has “good” qualities about her and she alone decides what those qualities are…and Happy International Women’s Day!
Love,
The Diva In The Making
Diva in the Making 